This is an edited version of a podcast episode. If you prefer to listen, click Make Me Whole Podcast to find this and all my other episodes.
Today we’re putting relationships under the microscope. We’re going to dissect, analyze, and work towards understanding how to nurture the love between couples and how to rekindle the flame when it starts to fade. To all our newcomers, welcome! You’ve just joined a community that values authenticity, growth, and holistic living. We learn, we grow, and we do it together. So let’s get started!
Relationships are complex. They're beautiful and often challenging. In our fast-paced world we often lose sight of the fundamentals. Let’s get back to those today. Trust, communication, and understanding. These three pillars hold up any strong relationship. I want to take a little bit of a deep dive into the fundamentals and the science behind love.
Trust is about more than just honesty. It’s about accountability, consistency. Can your partner count on you when things are tough? Can they trust you with their deepest secrets, knowing they're safe with you? That’s trust. It’s like a safety net in the relationship, providing comfort and security. Picture this: your partner lands a big project at work, and they’re stressed. Can they trust you to provide the type of emotional support they need, and not just what you think SHOULD make them feel better? Will you invest the time and effort to find out if it’s a moment to give them space or a moment to hype them up? That’s the kind of trust we’re talking about.
Effective communication is not just about talking. It’s actively and intentionally listening. It’s understanding not just the words, but also the emotions behind them. Let’s say your partner mentions feeling overlooked while you’re busy on your phone. Instead of dismissing their concerns and rushing to explain your side of the story, take a moment to consider their perspective. They’re seeking connection and attention, which they deserve. Your partner might feel isolated, and is being brave enough to show vulnerability and ask for what they need. This is a chance to better understand them, reassess your actions, and increase your intimacy. Practicing good communication doesn’t mean there won’t be arguments, but it is key to overcoming these conflicts.
Social media, technology, jealousy, misunderstandings, they all create bumps in the relationship road, so let’s learn how to navigate them. Jealousy, the green-eyed monster, stems from insecurity. If you’re feeling jealous, communicate openly about your feelings, and if your partner is feeling jealous, offer them reassurance and comfort. Connection is the true antidote to jealousy.
In the age of social media, many couples disagree about what appropriate online interactions look like. It’s essential to both establish boundaries as well as respect each others’ comfort zones. Examine your own feelings and reactions so you can have a conversation about why exactly you have your preferences. Boundaries are not weapons, and are not meant to be used to control. Discuss your expectations openly to avoid misunderstandings.
Here’s the heart of our conversation today: rejuvenating your relationship. One of the simplest, most powerful strategies is spending quality time together. Maybe schedule a date night and create your favorite dish together. It’s more than just sharing a meal, it’s about making time to share an experience. Laughter, maybe a little mess in the kitchen, and most importantly, creating memories that bring you closer. Another revitalizing technique is learning something new together. You could learn to dance, to cook a regional cuisine, or speak a foreign language. The process of learning together can bring you together in the moment and also pave the way for future connections. Imagine this: you and your partner decide to learn Italian together. As you both stumble over words, correct each other's pronunciation, and laugh over missteps, you’re building a whole new level of connection. And one day, you find yourselves ordering food in a quaint Italian restaurant using the words you’ve learned together. That’s not just a conversation. That’s a shared achievement, and an unforgettable memory.
We’re about connection, understanding and fostering relationships that are not only passionate, but also healthy and fulfilling. Remember, each relationship is unique. What works for one couple, might not work for another. Always be true to yourself. Take what resonates with you from today's talk, and leave what is unhelpful for your situation. A reminder as we end today: relationships aren't about losing oneself. It’s about growing together while nurturing your own individuality. So remember, keep striving together, keep thriving together, and keep loving together.