This is an edited version of a podcast episode. If you prefer to listen, click Make Me Whole Podcast to find this and all my other episodes.
Hey there and welcome back! Our discussion for today is focused on making the life that you fantasize about a reality. Now, this might sound like it would be easy, but honestly, it's not. Building your dream future? It's going to require a lot of work and definitely an open mind. So, I want you to take a moment and ask yourself, am I actually open to new ideas? You might think, “Of course I am!”, but you may need to take it waaaaay back and deconstruct ideas, frameworks, and perspectives that you’ve had since you were a kid.
You see, our minds have different levels. We have a conscious mind, a subconscious mind, and an unconscious mind. A lot of our childhood memories and thoughts are stored deeply in our subconscious mind, so many of the reactions and habits that you have today are because of the experiences you had when you were a child. Let me give you an example. Have you ever felt scared to speak in public? Or maybe you avoid certain situations because they make you feel uncomfortable. These feelings might be because of a negative experience you had when you were a child. Maybe you were criticized for speaking your mind or you were punished for expressing yourself. These moments created a belief in your subconscious mind that speaking up is dangerous and uncomfortable. And now, as an adult, you are still operating under the same assumptions.
Have you ever wondered why some people just achieve their goals while others struggle? The answer lies largely in their mindset. Our underlying thoughts, beliefs, and habits are the foundations on which we build our lives. If we want to cultivate a lifestyle that suits us, we first have to examine and alter our mindset. Now, in order to do this, we have to consider whether or not we truly have an open mind. What does that actually mean? Well, it means you are willing to attempt something new, question what you hold as true, and let go of the thoughts that limit you. A lot of times it is our own beliefs holding us back. Like I said, they are deeply rooted in our subconscious mind, and sometimes we’re not aware of it. They could either come from a brief, specific childhood experience or a more constant cultural conditioning. To create the life you want, you have to identify your unhelpful assumptions and challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this really true? Is it serving me, or is it holding me back?” Once you’ve pinpointed the limiting belief, you can start to create a new one, one that is more empowering. So in order for our circumstances to start changing today, we have to start altering the beliefs we accepted in the past. If an idea is holding us back, we need to start creating new ones that will support us.
Ok, so you might be thinking, “Ok, Joset, that’s great. You’ve said it, but how do I put words into action? Well, the first step is to become more aware of what’s happening in your mind and your heart. Be intentional about examining the thoughts that come into your head throughout the day. Notice if they are positive or negative. If they are negative, start questioning them and their consequences. Another effective method is practicing affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself daily to reinforce a new belief. For example, if you want to create a more positive outlook about money or material things, you might say, “Money is the tool that allows me to live the life I want.” Repeat the affirmation several times a day until it becomes a part of your subconscious mind. You can also try visualization, the practice of mentally rehearsing what you want to happen. This tool is successfully used by Olympic athletes and high-level businesspeople to achieve their goals. To use this technique, you close your eyes and imagine yourself living the life that you desire. Imagine the sights, the sounds, the feelings that you associate with that life. The more vividly you can imagine it, the more achievable and realistic it will become to your mind. Now, it’s important to remember that changing your mindset takes time and effort. It’s not a one time event, but a continuous process, so you have to be committed and willing to put in the work. Another step you can take is surrounding yourself with people who support you as you improve yourself and how you interact with the world. It’s crucial to have friends in your life that believe in you and encourage you. If everyone you associate with is negative and stagnant, it will be much harder to move forwards and do better. The people in your life can either support you or hold you back, so seek out those who are positive, who are supportive, who share your values. These are the people who are going to help you stay on track towards your goals.
Remember, you have to take concrete steps towards your goals. Once you’ve identified and replaced your limiting beliefs, it’s time to take action. You can’t create your dream life just by thinking about it. You need to deliberately move towards the goal. Start small, and celebrate your successes along the way. Remember, that this is in addition to changing your mindset and creating that supportive social network. You have to be intentional. You have to be consistent. Identify the steps you need to take in order to get there, and then take action every day. Even small steps can lead to significant progress over time. It's so important that we recognize and acknowledge that progress. It will give you the motivation you need to keep going and inspire you to go even higher. Improving your life isn’t easy, but it’s possible. It requires an open mind and a willingness to question your foundational beliefs. Then, take action towards the goal. So, take a moment and ask yourself, "What life do I want to create?" Then, go take that first step.